another year has come and gone...where do we go from here.

as i sit here are write these words i am aware that i should be doing other things...
like cleaning up the holiday's that have exploded all over my home.

but the words that flow from my finger tips tell me i must take a brief brake.

i sit here in reflection of the year that has past and the year to come...

2013 was an outstanding year...
it was a big year.

i graduated from college with degree that i love and believe wholeheartedly in...
i did so on father's day.
a day that left me rubbed so raw from the emotions that were overflowing from me.
the joy.
the gratefulness of the man that raised me and stood by my side and still does...
and from the loss of my father... a man lost so many years ago.

i attended weddings.
watched my friends change and grow.
fall in love with their lives in a new and different way.
there were announcements of children to come.
i have fallen away from friends as the leaves fall from the tree and the seasons change
they are always with me and i with them - i thank them for the lessons and the love, as they will always be a thread of the fabric that is me.
i have lost lives...
the one most recently caused a a revelation in my soul...
she was a beacon of light...
although our nights have grown darker
the sky has grown brighter with the light of a new star, there she will watch from the boundless universe, lighting our paths and bathing us in the warmth of her life and love...
this loss...
broke my heart...
but made me so grateful for the women in my life...
she was one of my mothers "women" 
they had been friends for 45 years...
sorority sisters.
they are a pack.
she had been the first of the "women" to pass.
these "women" lifted my mother up when my father passed away.
they saw weddings - their own and their children's...
they saw births - their children and their children's children...
they saw deaths - of husbands, of parents...
they saw birthdays...
they saw holidays...
these are my mothers "women"
this loss made me ever more grateful for my "women"
the women i adventure with...
cry with...
laugh with...
i reflected upon my women - these women have been mine since childhood, some high school, some college, some from adulthood...
but they are mine.
they are my women.
this year i vow to cherish my women
with even greater care and love than i ever have - i didn't think that was possible.
i plan to thank them regularly for their companionship.
they are great and powerful women.
all so different...
i am grateful for the way they foster the different facets of me.

i began a new professional adventure.
that at times rips open the wounds of loss in my life...
as i watch the grieving children and their families come and go i get it..
i really do...
sometimes it feels as though i get it too much.

i fell in love with my life all over again.
i took a few steps back into myself and my family...
i fell in love with my mostly companion deeper than i ever dreamed imaginable - after all the years we have been together...
he is me 
i am him
we are us.

i have watched my totter grow and change in ways that i didn't imagine.
she has become a young lady.
a bright shining star in a world frequently shrouded in darkness.
she is my guiding light.
she will change the world.
her laughter is music to my ears.
she is me
i am her
we are us.

as we three head off in to the new year i wonder what the year will hold for us.
i hope of a question of permanence from my mostly companion (not that i am going anywhere)
but a chance to have a celebration of our love with our friends and family. 
a solidification of the three of us...
opening the door for maybe another heart for us to fall in love with...

i am excited for the coming year and the chance to grow.
to spread my wings.
to sow my oats.
to breathe deeply.
to laugh heartily.
to cry passionately.
to learn.
to teach.
to be!!

i am grateful that the universe has granted me the opportunity to get through another year.
cheers to new beginnings for me
and for you.

happy reading!!