seeds of change...

seeds of change.
the words are borrowed.
but the idea is real and true within us all.
we have the power to affect change.
to make a difference.


the question becomes do you?
do we plant the seeds?
do we foster the growth needed to change?
what is it that we are trying to change?


i speak these words in reference to not political change.
not world change.
oh how i wish that i possessed the proper words for that though.
however...
this is not the time.
this is the place.
but not today.


the seeds of change i choose to speak of tonight.
are the seeds in which we plant in one another.
the older that i get i become more aware of the seeds that others plant in me.
ha that made me laugh.
it sounds as if i am harvesting babies or something like that.
but that is not the point.
i am talking about the seeds of growth.
personal growth.
change.
beauty.


i am blessed in my life to be surrounded by a group of beautiful individuals.
they are all so different.
yet all very much the same.
in that they have enviable spirits, lights and energy.
i love you all in different ways.
thank you for fostering change in me.


for those of you who have known me for many years know that for a long time i had hardened edges,
i was not soft.
i am always and have been deeply sensitive.
but you might not have known.
i do not know the days in which the walls went up.
it was sometime after my father passed away.
but it happened.
i built walls.
and you have knocked them down.


i know that some of it has been through meeting my mostly companion.
he fosters gentleness and femininity in my that i forgot i had.
he makes me feel like a girl.
not that my biology hasn't made always feel like a girl.
but like a girly girl i suppose.
soft.
sweet.


my other "soul farmer"
is my lovah.
ha so not a lovah in the traditional sense.
i scoured my brain for the right nickname to protect her identity...
and could think of this name...lovah.
its the name we call each other.
if you know the SNL skit.
its the best.
simply fantastic.
if you don't.
i am saddened for you.
ha just thinking about it makes me laugh.


ok so back to my lovah.
she is the one who's words "seeds of change" i have borrowed.
she is a remarkable woman.
she is my soul sister.
we are kindred souls.
one spirit.
two bodies.
together forever since the moment we met.
she is my hero.
these are things she does not know.
she does not know the extent of her own spirit.
her own influence.
she has talents in so many ways.
a heart of gold.
a heart of sunshine and rainbows.
glitter and unicorns.


lovah is a dancer.
that was how we joined together.
she was the grace.
i was the power.
we were all the things the other was not.
together the perfect pair.
although i no longer dance...
i built pieces on her.
watching her dance sets my soul a flame.


she is special.
she is kind.
she seeks to foster growth in our future.
in children.
she sees their light.
she makes it bright.
she is a healer.
she heals me.


when days are dark.
her voice brings solace to me.
she is far.
too far to touch.
but not to feel.
she makes me a better person.


she has stood by me in my darkest days.
stood there when i was wrong.
waited for me to be right.
said nothing.
but let me learn my lessons on my own.
yet was always there to pick me up and dust me off when i fell down.
i have done this a lot in all the years of our friendship.
and yet she has always been there.
to push me to be better.


now that i am better and i am thriving.
i can say thank you.
i don't know that i ever properly have said it.
friends come and go...
but sisters are forever.
and she is my sister.


without her.
i would be lost.
maybe even forgotten.
not to you.
but to myself.
she always knew how to knock down my walls.
through movement.
when she danced with me.
i was free.
i was safe.


she is like magic to me.
she is like pixie dust.
she sparkles in the sun.
she dances in the rain.


so before i cry.
silly girl tears.
this is for her...


if i was beautiful like you
oh the things i would do
those not so blessed would be crying out murder
i'd just laugh and get away with it too
like you do.


if i was beautiful like you
i would never be at fault
i'd walk in the rain between the raindrops
bringing traffic to a halt.


but that would never be
that would never never be
cause i'm not beautiful like you
i'm beautiful like me
beautiful like me


if i was beautiful like you
i's be quick to assume
they'd do anything to please me why not
i see their reaction when you walk into the room.


but that would never be
that would never never be
cause i'm not beautiful like you.
i'm beautiful like me
beautiful like me
beautiful like me
like me


if i was beautiful like you
i'd have so many friends
all fighting for my time to be next in line
so if i hurt one i wouldn't have to make amends.


but that would never be
that would never never be
cause i'm not beautiful like you
i'm not beautiful like you
i'm not beautiful like you
i'm beautiful like me
beautiful like me
i'm beautiful like me
i'm beautiful like me.


thank you for always making me see the beauty in myself.


Happy Reading!!