a new rant...well maybe not so new.

so once upon a time not too long ago i wrote about my feelings about the people around me making that leap to marriage...
and how i have still yet to be on that boat.
yet i am watching it set sail all around me.

i am not sure if i should be bitter or happy for everyone. 
let me rephrase that of course i am happy for everyone as marriage is a lovely thing.
i guess i just wonder if this might ever be in the cards for me.
i am beginning to think not.

over the last two weekends i have attended two weddings - very different but both ever so beautiful. so congrats to the beautiful couples. wishing you all the love and happiness that life has to offer.

i also found out that two more people got engaged over the weekend. congrats to them.
however i guess what gets me the most is that they have been together for a very short time and my mostly companion and i have been together for almost four years.  actually one month from today will be that day.

but thats neither here nor there...i guess where my rant begins is that i am beginning to feel like a leper as though i am not one for marrying.  is there something wrong with me?

i also as i was following the life of an old friend.  actually an old dance little sister - she too got married over the weekend.  congrats to her. 

and thus this leaves me not really knowing how to feel.  i guess i think it will never happen for me and that is ok...but i think at some level i would like to have a princess day.  i would like to be with someone that wants to forever share the happiness, the sadness, the struggles, the joys and all other things that life contains.  i would like to share that love with someone.  i suppose i think i share it with my mostly companion but i am not so sure he shares it with me...considering i am still waiting and wondering.  and as we just returned from the most magical vacation i guess i am left feeling very confused.

i dont know how to feel anymore.
i dont even know that this is the stage in which i am to put forth this confusion.
if now it has become to personal.

well enough of this i guess.
many congrats to newly married, newly engaged and those who share their love daily.
happy reading.